Why He Can Not Love
by Shiory
Summary: Set in the murauders era This is a romance between Snape and an OC and Implyed RemusOC and JamesLily
1. Sleeping

_A boy in a suit held him self tightly as if afraid if he let go his body would fall apart at the seams of his clothing_

_"Hey! Are you alright?" Anya stepped forward reaching out her hand. Anya felt such a pull her heart filled with a pain she had never known before _

_"Who are you? How did you get here?" the boy turned to her his dark obsidian eyes looking at her almost fearfully_

_"You are not welcome here. Go away!" he said coldly she withdrew_

_"But you look like you're in pain." Anya said the boy chuckled_

_"Of course I'm in pain you stupid girl go away you are not welcome here." He repeated she frowned_

_"No not till you tell me what wrong!" she said firmly she was to stubborn to let this boy just send her away like some servant. He looked at her confused now_

_"Why should you care, I don't even know you." she smiled_

_"Because you're human and every human being needs someone to care about them. I may not be human myself but I'll help you if I can." He looked away_

_"You seem pretty human to me." He muttered she smiled_

_"Thank you. Now come on, I doubt sitting in the dark in very healthy." she said holding out a hand, he looked at it confused as if unsure whether she truly meant it_

_"Come it to the light for a while you'll like it, it's much warmer then this cold place." He smiled taking her hand_

_"It won't hurt?" he asked she shook her head_

_"Why would light hurt? I'm here come on I think you'll like the light if you give it a chance."_

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The boy was not new to her, older then before yes but she had dreamed of him before, this had been the first time she had spoken to him. She liked his eyes and his Onyx black hair. His voice had been a little shaky as if afraid she would hit him.

The whistle of the Hogwarts train pulled her from silent musings. How strange it would be to attend the school her father had talked about so endearingly. A first year student with brains she weren't interested in wasting time with mediocre spells; no, she had spells of her own she could make good use of, no right now she was only interested in the safety Hogwarts provided. A safety from the growing menace of the Dark lord, Voldemort, a safety she planned on stretching to its farthest extent.

As always she had only a fools thought in her head. Her warm crimson eyes, the result of an accident when she was messing with her fathers potions as a child, scanned all of the faces each one unique, each one held promises or lies.

"This year may actually be fun" she muttered under her breath her robes fluttered lightly, big on her pale frame. Her trunk was in a pile among many others but not undistinguishable as she had gone threw the trouble to paint several roses on it.

Climbing on to the train she began searching for an empty compartment, she was passing one with four boys in it when an orange light zipped past her nose hitting the window

"Watch what your doing James you almost hit someone." A stern voice said too a dark haired boy with glasses who was in the middle of a playful fist fight with another dark-haired boy.

"Yah James! Watch it." The other one taunted his hark hair was shoulder length and he had youthful energy in his eyes as well as animalistic instinct all four of them weren't fully human any more, one of them was barley human at all

"A dog, a deer, a rat, and a wolf what a strange mix" she said looking at them there eyes held everything about them. At that moment everything stood still and the four looked at her is disbelief The dark haired boy grabbed at her pulling her into the compartment a smaller blond boy poked his head out to make sure nobody had herd the closed the door as she was tossed in to a seat and stared at

"What did you say about us?" The boy with the stern voice asked his eyes held concern this was the boy who was barley human

"I listed off your animals you're a wolf." She paused pointing to him then the small blond boy

"He's a rat." She moved again pointing to the dark haired boy with glasses

"He's a deer." And finally she pointed to the long, dark haired boy.

"And he's a dog." She said they looked at each other

"How did you know this?" The long haired boy demanded making her jump and withdraw, surprised and almost fearful as he looked at her like a madman

"Your eyes I can see it in you eyes" she said the stern voiced boy touched her arm lightly

"What your name?" he asked kindly she looked at him, he didn't look like he was about to tear her throat out.

"Anya Versinya" she said softly the name rolling off her tongue

"Miss Versinya I assume you're in your first year? We're just entering third year ourselves" he said politely making the others back away they all sat. She nodded looking at him and not at the others

"Well I'm honored to meet you, my name is Remus Lupin, and this is James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew." He said with a light smile she nodded to each one in turn

"Why do you all have animal forms? You I can understand I can easily guess what happened with out having to ask but the other three have no need for fur." she said, Remus looked away

"This could pose a problem no one is supposed to know we'll have to see Dumbledore." she looked at him confused

"Why? I won't tell I have nothing to gain if I tell some one and you seem to nice to rat on pardon me" she said looking over at Peter who and made a humph sound they others laughed and after a moment she did to

"So Anya, you made any friends yet?" Serious asked she shook her head

"Papa keeps me away from people He says the outer world in dangerous. Mama had to beg him to let me come to Hogwarts at all" Anya said a sad look must have crossed her face because they suddenly silenced

"I'm Happy though Papa and Mama always knew best." she said turning to them and smiling

"We'll be your friends as long as you don't fall for James. He's gone head over heels for Lily!" Sirius said getting a jab in the ribs by a rather red James

"You needn't worry about me falling for any of you I have the one I like waiting for me..." she said with a smile thinking of the boy from her dreams

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Two hours into the train ride and a plump aged woman pushing a trolley knocked on the door

"Any thing sweet for you?" she asked kindly Anyas ace lit up seeing the Chocolate frogs and she was quick to buy as many as she could afford the boys looked at her as she dumped the haul of sweets on the small space left on the seat she shared with Peter

"I'm a classic girl." she said with a grin when they didn't get it she shook her head

"I love chocolate." she said and they nodded realization donning on their faces

"You guys can have some to you know." she said smiling at Peter who had been eyeing the chocolate with sweets lust. They all laughed and indulged in chocolate frogs till they felt their stomachs would pop

"You got a lot of cash for a first year." James said with a smile she shrugged

"Papa works hard so that me and Mama may live comfortably Papa holds Mama close she's the most important thing to him, and their both the most important things to me." she said with a smile. Remus nodded knowingly

"Family is more important then anything isn't it?" she smiled and looked out the window

"It's only because of genetics" She said softly settling in the seat her eyes drifted closed she was tired

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_The boy was sitting in the darkness again but he seemed to be waiting for something a small smile lit his face when he saw Anya_

_"You came back?" he asked looking at her, she nodded_

_"Yes I'll come back when ever I fall asleep if you want me to." She said with a smile, the boy nodded _

_"When you took me into the light I woke up again, no ones ever pulled me from this dream before..." He said looking at her_

_"You never told me who you were." she smiled_

_"Anya... My name is Anya, I'm just a witch nothing special." she said he shook his head_

_"Your eyes are red; it's the only color I can see in this black and white place." He said she paused looking at her hands_

_"Your right there's no color here... Why is that?" she asked _

_'Anya the train has stopped time to wake up' the voice was Remus_

_"I have to go" she said with a weak smile the boy nodded_

_"I realize that but... could you wake me up? I don't know how to get up on my own." He said she smiled holding out a hand_

_"Yes Of course... We'll go together to the light and the waking world." she said He took her hand and let her lead him away from his place and into a blinding light._

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"Anya what are you talking about?" Remus looked at her slightly concerned

"I talk in my sleep?" she asked he nodded

"What's the waking world?" he asked she shook her head

"The world outside of dream of course!" she said with a smile and a laugh

"Yah Remus what else would it be?" James said jokingly they all laughed and she looked outside

"It's dark" she said looking at all the people filing off the train she followed Remus and the others

"All firs'-years! Over here!" she looked up startled to see a large man who reminded her very much of a giant, in fact in his eyes he held the blood of one

"One of his parents must be human" she mused silently walking over, in an instant she was on the ground wincing she looked up her crimson eyes meeting deep obsidian the face was unmistakable as he glared down at her

"You're the boy from my-" she was cut off as she were picked up roughly from behind

"Watch it girly stay out of our way." A voice hissed in her ear she pulled away and looked at the boy with obsidian eyes

"It's me, Anya." she insisted the boy raised an eye brow

"I've never met you before, your eyes are so strange I would know if I had met you before, are you some sort of crazy girl?" he asked shaking his head he swept away a few Slytherins following him. She stood there shocked her eyes following the boy

"He doesn't know who I am?" she muttered watching his retreating form she felt like she had just been hexed

"Hey Anya what are you just standing there for? Did that snaky bastard say something?" she turned around James had doubled back to walk with Lily when he had spotted her

"Oh... oh no I'm fine just a little... Um thankful that they didn't hex me... I mean I herd that Slytherins look for any excuse to bully." she said quickly thinking of something convincing, she smiled weakly

"I have to go I mean first years are supposed to go over there..." she said quickly waving and running off James watched her surprised

"Snaky Bastard he upset her..." he said with a frown he would tell the others and make sure Severus was hexed big time for hurting their new friend.

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_**Wow yah I'm writing another one XD This one is actually for a friend of mine who wanted a story about her and Severus before he became a death eater so here we are I will be continuing this story and "Golden eyes, black fur"**_


	2. Sorting

James chased after the carriage his friends had climbed on and got in quickly

"Snape's gonna get it this year." He growled looking at his friends

"Why what happened?" Peter asked looking at the fuming boy

"Anya ran into him on accident and the stupid Slytherin said something to make her really up set..." James said Remus frowned

"How do mean upset? I mean, he didn't make her cry did he? She doesn't seem like the type who would cry." James shook his head

"No she wasn't crying, but she looked like she was about to, Kind of like she was hit with a bag full of rocks." James said Remus nodded looking out the carriage window, he could just see the black mass of the lack vanishing behind trees, a few dots of light signaled that the boats had already set off

"That snaky bastard, it's like he's trying to give us an excuse to hex him till he's blue." Sirius said with a frown. The rest of the ride to the castle was spent plotting various ways to make the pale lanky boy pay for upsetting their new friend.

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Anya stood in the group of first years in a kind of daze, not the good kind either. After having crossed the lake, and having been rather accidentally introduced to the giant squid, she and the other first years found themselves in a large foray

"All right go on in." the large man (Who Anya learned was named Hagrid) said opening the doors for them all.

Shuffling in she looked around amazed, The ceiling matched the starry sky outside and dozens of candles floated in the air her eyes fell on a waving had and she smiled seeing the boys there James had a slight blush across his face because Lily was sitting next to him absorbed in a conversation with another girl. Peter pointed at an empty seat between him and Remus and she nodded. She just had to be a Gryffindor now that she knew them.

She were one of the last names called

"Versinya , Anya." she walked up to a rather prune looking woman with kind eyes and emerald green robes. She sat on the stool a light blush crossing her face as she looked at all the students, Sirius and James were making a show of crossing their fingers their arms, and she suspected their eyes as well. She laughed lightly as the hat was placed on her head falling over her eyes

"Well, well what a unique mind." She physically jumped when a voice whispered in her head

"I'm being talked to by a hat?" she asked no one in particular

"Yes very good, sarcasm and pride you have Slytherin traits... a hard worker... raven claw... bravery and a loyal soul Gryffindor... you would do fine in any of these houses..." she bit her lip

"Can I ask for my house? I want to be in Gryffindor." she said

"Why is that?" the hat asked

"Because I have made friends in that house... they were on the trine... the first people I have met other them Mama, papa, and..." she paused did the hat really need to know about her dream boy?

"Ah yes... I see... Well then it is decided then you are in GRYFFINDOR!" the hat yelled out for everyone to hear she smiled brightly as the hat was pulled off her head the tables cheered but the loudest roar came from her new house table. She smiled taking the seat next to Peter and Remus with a bright smile Sirius and James were sitting opposite her and Lily stopped to congratulate her on making Gryffindor

"Well the hat said I would be good here in, Ravenclaw or, in Slytherin." she said with a smile there was a short pause and the boys looked at her

"I asked to be in Gryffindor because my friends are here." she said grinning broadly ready to eat she looked at the head table as a tall aged wizard stood his kind baby blue eyes fell quickly on every face

"Now that we have all been sorted I am proud to welcome our new Defense against the dark arts teacher Professor Kale Swift." The man said another man stood and smiled after a few seconds of clapping he sat. Anya's eyes met his for a moment and she suddenly felt sick turning away quickly she stared at her plate Remus looked at her and patted her back

"Anya are you alright? You look like you're about to be sick." He asked concerned she shook her head

"I'm fine probably just little claustrophobic... I have never been around so many people before..." she said waving a dismissive hand, Remus nodded

"You mentioned that on the train, will you be alright?" he asked she nodded

"I'll be fine nothing to worry about." she said looking up just as Dumbledore said

"Let the feast begin!" The man sat and the plates filled with warm food her eyes lit up as the smell of well cooked ham and mashed potatoes mingled with sweet corn and onion gravy. The feeling of being watched filled her and she looked up her crimson eyes meeting bottomless obsidian for an instant before he looked away in his movement she saw a large bruise on his face

"I wonder what happened I hope that wasn't my fault..." Anya muttered Peter looked at her

"What wasn't your fault?" the boy asked his plate loaded with food she smiled

"The boy there... he has a bruise... I bumped into him after I separated with you guys... I just hope I didn't cause the bruise on his face." she said indicating to the boy who was now eating and deep in conversation to a rather haughty looking girl next to him

"Severus Snape." Peter said she looked at him confused

"What?"

"That boy's name is Severus Snape... That bruise isn't your fault..." Peter started laughing and Remus, who had been listening to the conversation intently, looked away with a light blush

"Remus socked him one." James and Sirius were laughing now Sirius patted his friend shoulder

"Never thought I'd see the day... But the instant we walked into the entrance hall and that snaky bastard came into... view Remus plowed ...through every one and punched him." He said through gasps of laughter Anya looked at Remus her eyes questioning and confused

"What did you hit him for?" she asked he shook his head

"James said he had upset you... and I couldn't just... let him get away with that... I mean upsetting a girl who's never met with people before, he had no right to make you uncomfortable with people..." he said avoiding her innocent questioning gaze.

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After the feast was over she stood with the boys and followed them to a set of staris that led to the Gryffindor common room. As she left the great hall she couldn't help but look back at the boy she now knew was called Severus, but she didn't find him. Looking up at the staff table the man, Professor Swift, met her eyes again and again she found herself feeling sick, stumbling a little she tripped feeling warm arms catch her.

"What were you're walking... you almost bumped in to me again." The voice was silky smooth and she opened her eyes to meet deep darkness her eyes widened and he frowned

"Stop gaping at me like a fish, say something at least." He said letting her go

"Um... I'm sorry about... I mean what I said before on the platform... I mean... Um..." a light blush crossed her features Severus shook his head

"Stupid Gryffindor... I thought you were supposed to be brave... or is it you just can't talk right? You have strange eyes and a speech problem you ar-"

"LEAVE HER ALONE YOU SNAKY BASTARD!" Anya found herself being pulled away from him much to her surprise buy Remus, James and Sirius had their wands out, pointed at the boy

"Wait! Wait he didn't do anything I tripped because I was feeling sick again and I bumped in to him again that's all... I was apologizing." she said quickly every one looked at her but it was the look of surprise on Severus's face that caught her attention, it was like no one had tried to defend him before

"Anya is that what happened?" Remus asked as though he didn't believe it. She nodded her head franticly

"Yes I swear I just tripped... you saw at dinner I wasn't feeling good... I'm just not used to crowds." she said Remus looked up at his friends and they lowered their wands

"Leave Anya alone she doesn't need to put up with your lot." Sirius said Severus looked away

"As if I want to converse with some silly little Gryffindor witch who can't even keep a handle on her own two feet." He said with a scoff turning he followed the now moving mass of Slytherin student's to his common room Remus turned her a little

"I'm sorry Anya if we startled you." He said Sirius and James nodded

"It's fine I just didn't want you guys getting in trouble because I bumped into someone that's all." she said with a smile Remus nodded

"I understand your point." It took him a moment to realize he was still holding her arms

"Sorry..." he mumbled she shook her head and smiled

"It's fine I don't mind." she said following them as they followed to the common room. She couldn't wait to get to sleep, she wanted to talk to the boy in her dreams and tell him about her day.


	3. Spells

Anya smiled as her and the boys climbed the stairs all the paintings were conversing with each other apparently the little... disruption in the halls involving her and Severus had not gone unnoticed by even the people in the paintings.

"Well here we are." James said patting the frame of a large and busty woman more commonly known as 'the fat lady.'

"I herd from my friend Vera you boys were causing trouble again," she said

"But I also herd that it involved a girl..." she shrank back behind Remus slightly afraid that the woman would yell at her Remus nodded

"Yes she's not a crowd person, James do you know the password?" He asked looking at the boy, He shrugged

"_'Barlame.'_" Peter said the fat lady smiled

"Yes thats it." She said swinging forward James jumped back and glared at Peter

"Sorry..." the boy said sheepishly Anya started to laugh Remus turned to her

"Come on and welcome to your home for the rest of you schooling." She nodded with a bright smile

As she walked into the common room however things went still and people looked at her. She withdrew hiding behind Remus a light blush on her face she weren't sure she liked being stared at

"You're the weird first year girl... They say you have crimson colored eyes... is it true?" some one asked she closed her eyes

"She's not weird." Remus said getting defensive

"Hey alright, alright I've got you... but she looks funny... I mean she's so... plain." The girl said Remus frowned

"What do you mean plain? What were you expecting, some curvy beauty? She's only eleven give her some time and she'll grow into a beautiful woman. I think she's fine why don't you back off and leave her alone?" Remus growled the girl backed off

"Jeeze a little touchy are we?" she said turning away

"What ever how a coward like her got into Gryffindor is beyond me."

"I'm not a coward you prune faced witch." Anya said the girl halted rounding on Anya as she stepped out from behind Remus the boys looked at her shocked

"What did you call me!" she demanded her scrunched up face going even more so in anger

"Your face reminds me of a wrinkly old prune, and you're rude and nosy... my eyes color is none of you business nor is it your business who I am friends with." Anya said a deep swell in the back of her mind, a tug of dark and hurtful thoughts she opened her eyes and narrowed them looking at the girl

"I may only be in my first year but I know those who have class and dignity and those who don't. You shouldn't have sold your self so cheaply... I don't need to see the make up to see you lost your last shred of purity at thirteen years old to a boy you liked. Throwing you self on him, he agreed assuming you nothing more then a whore he left you that morning with only a galleon and three sickles." Anya said the girls face grew red with rage

"What are you talking about Anya?" A hand on Anya's shoulder and she looked back Sirius, James, and Peter had collapsed in to fits of laughter along with several girls and boy of various ages, but Remus was looking at her with concern

"I'll teach you to spill secrets!" The girl yelled, her movement was quick she pulled out her wand Remus looked up and Anya shoved him back diving for her own wand

"Stupi-"

"_VELVALY!"_ Anya's spell was stronger and in an instant the wand and most of the girls left arm froze in to crystal... you could see all the blood moving freely in side

"Don't attack me... I didn't spend my life just sitting around in the house... Papa trained me incase people attacked me... he was right you know... this outer world can be extremely dangerous to me..." she said the girl had collapsed to the ground nursing the arm as if it were broken

_"Lievel_" Anya murmured and her hand and wand returned to skin and wood. Anya paused a wave passed over her and she stumbled back collapsing to the floor

"ANYA!" she dimly herd the shout as her mind cleared and she passed out

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_"Hey... Hey Anya... Are you ok?" her eyes drifted open as something cold patted her face the hand of the boy with obsidian eyes _

_"Oh good... when I got here you were laying there looking like you were dead... you really scared me." She smiled as deep obsidian eyes looked down at her concerned _

_"No I just used a spell I wasn't supposed to..." she made and attempt to sit up and the boy backed away. He held out a hand, she took it, and he pulled her up to sit _

_"I'm sorry..." she said smiling softly he looked at her confused _

_"For what?" he asked _

_"I mistook someone for you... I'm sorry for that... You're much too nice to be him anyway... You look the same though so I thought..." The boy looked at her surprised and smiled _

_"It's fine I'm sure I look like a few people... how did you feel when you saw the person who looked like me?" he asked suddenly she looked at him surprised _

_"Very happy..." she said after a moment _

_"Very happy huh?" He muttered looking away she watched him for a moment _

_"Uh... Hey I don't know what you call you!" she said breaking the silence he looked at her raising an eye brow _

_"What to call me?" she nodded _

_"Yah I can't just keep referring to you as dream boy now can I?" she said and they both started laughing _

_"Dream boy?" he said and she nodded _

_"Well you're a boy and this is a dream world so why not?" He nodded _

_"That makes sense... you can call me S." he said with a smile _

_"S... That's cool Anya and S..." she laughed again _

_"How long can you stay this time Anya? Your last stay was so short..." she smiled _

_"I'm not sure I don't know how long time is here compared to the waking world." she said _

_"And considering I got here after passing out..." she trailed off _

_"I'll stay as long as I can, but I'm in school now." He nodded _

_"Yes I would assume as much, hey Anya what school are you going to?" he asked He only seemed to want to know about her _

_"Hogwarts, Papa's alma mater." She said with a light smile _

_"You seem upset what's wrong?" He asked _

_"The person I met who I thought was you also goes to the school... he's third year as far as I know... but he seems so cold... I think I really messed up..." she said he grabbed her shoulder _

_"I'm sure its fine... maybe he's just shy or something..." he offered she smiled _

_"I don't think it's that, I'm in a house called Gryffindor and he's in an opposite house Slythrin, the students in those two houses have never gotten along... and after how I acted I fear the friends I did make will no longer want anything to do with me..." He looked at her _

_"Why not? What did you do that's so bad?" he asked _

_"I followed the dark thoughts and hexed a girl because she was taunting me and my friend Remus..." she said looking down afraid his reaction would be bad he merely chuckled _

_"You hexed someone to protect your friend? That's fine there is nothing wrong with that you know..." he said _

_"I've hexed people before... that's one of the things you do with magic." He continued _

_"I doubt they will think any less of you because you were defending you friend" she looked up at him with a small smile his dark eyes locked on her crimson gaze _

_"Thank you..." she muttered he smiled _

_"You aide me... it's only fitting that I return the favor." He said softly A light blush crossed her face and she looked away and at the dark space _

_"You know I bet you could change what it looks like in here." she said standing and stretching _

_"Change what it looks like?" she nodded _

_"Yah I know this isn't my dream world mine is... different..." she said turning to him _

_"So this must be yours I bet if you put enough focus into it you could make it change into how ever you want it to look." she said smiling he nodded _

_"You should wakeup... you said you passed out right? Your friends must be worried... I think I have to get up to I have things I need to do... I hadn't meant to fall asleep... but I'm glad I did..." he said she smiled _

_"Alright, let's go then" she said holding out a hand he took it with a smile. _

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"-ya? Anya? Are you ok?" Remus's voice filled her ears and her eyes drifted open

"Oh thank god you woke up..." He said with a weak smile the others were standing there to looking a little worried but glad she was awake

"Anya what happened you seemed fine one minuet... you even hexed Almati Amurashi (which was so funny by the way) and then you just collapsed." Peter said looking at her

"That spell you used was crazy you completely crystallized her hand... you have got to teach me that." Sirius said her eyes went wide

"NO! I shouldn't have used that spell at all... That's a bad spell..." she said quickly looking around she frowned

"Where am I?" She asked she was in a bed with white sheets a bunch of white curtains drawn around her

"The hospital wing... we weren't just going to leave you on the floor." James said as she pushed her self up

"You could have just taken me to my room... I'm fine now lets go back... I don't want to spend my first night here in a hospital bed." She said they looked at each other

"What is it?" she demanded

"Well It's about fours in the morning... we kind of sneaked out to see you..." she shrugged

"So I'll sneak back with you guys I'll just say I woke up and was feeling better so I went beck to my dorm, that's what's happening anyway, I'll just... omit your involvement." she said with a grin Remus shook his head

"Only a day and already we've been a bad influence."


	4. Skipping

The rest of the night was spent in her own dream world, a simple place that she enjoyed a lot. It was a glittering moonlight beach; the only problem with it was all the animals. Every night there seemed to be more of them, tigers, rabbits, birds, fish that floated in the sky, you name it, and it was there. Even stranger, they all talked, often they just conversed among them selves and lived their 'lives' with in her dreams but they talked to her as well.

the sound of the waves crashing into the sand was very soothing and she buried her feet in wet sand as she walked she wore a fuzzy color changing white top and simple pair of jeans.

her crimson eyes stared out at the water, S was still on her mind she ran over what he looked like, how he seemed to be waiting for her, how worried he was when he had found her passed out.

The largest tiger padded through the sand and curled up next to her, wise deep eyes looking up at the girl

"Anya, what's wrong? You're so deep in thought... is everything ok in the living world?" she asked Anya nodded

"You haven't been here in a while, it's been years since that last time you weren't here are you jumping dreams again?" her deep eyes looked at Anya with concern

"I have discovered a strange dream world... I don't know whether I was called into the dream or whether it was an accident but I do know that the owner of the dream world is having a lot of difficulty in his life, the world is so dark, except for a disk of glowing grey were we sit and talk, he can't seem to escape that world though... I'm scared for him, if that darkness envelopes him it will affect him in the living world. As you well know I can not do anything to help him, I can only show him a way it's he who must chose to take it..." she said poking a hermit crab as it scuttled past 

"Anya, you can not beat yourself up about such things. Your gifts are important. Your dreams give me and my children a home, as well as a home for so many others, you gifted dream seer, are the one who can lead that boy back in to the light... I know you can." She said warmly the girl smiled throwing her arms around the beasts neck and nuzzling into her fur 

"Thank you Kala, You've made me feel better," she said softly she could feel the deep rumble of a purr escaping the beast

"You are our savior Anya I can not allow you to be in distress when you are needed by people." The beast reasoned she nodded a loud reaping filled the air but Kala seemed to not hear it nor did the other animals

"I must go My alarm demands attention." Anya said with a smile Kala nodded as she stood looking up at the moon she jumped in to the bright light of the waking world.

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Her hand waved through the offending noise maker, and alarm spell one of the few things the roused her from her dream seeing. Standing she dressed quickly and padded across the empty bedroom, she woke five minuets before the end of breakfast every morning.

It was well into October now, she was unsure of the date but she did know it was drawing close to a Halloween masked ball that had been requested by the seventh year students a way to liven up the castle because of the growing threat of Voldemort. Though no one said his name, she had said it once she had read it in a newspaper, Papa had smacked her when she said the name and told her

"never ever say that name again it is a bad name and bad things happen to those who say it." So she never said the bad name again, though people talked about him at school, in fearful whispering she never asked about him, only knew he was bad and the reason she were here at all.

"Anya over here!" She looked up, she had been so deep in thought she had wandered all the way to the great hall

"Hello Peter." She said warmly sitting next to him he blushed and returned her greeting with earnest

"It's rare that you come down for breakfast, are you ok? You seemed a little off when you walked in." he said she shook her head

"I'm fine just thinking." she said grabbing a slice of toast, she didn't like eating breakfast turning she headed for the door actually glad she was up a little earlier today

"They have quidditch practice today, he'll be there... I'm sure he's not S now but I have to find out why I thought he was in the first place, maybe he knows him." she muttered pulling her robes close to her, she headed out to the pitch, a few other people where out with free classes, she was skipping. She hated the charms professor, he kept asking her to show him the crystallization hex she had used on the upper class men the first night of the school year.

"I'm tall enough to pass off as an older student, I'll lie and say I'm fifth year who's short for my age." she muttered she always had an excuse incase anyone asked,

Climbing in to the stands she took a seat scanning each face till she found his, the dark hair whipped around his face and the quidditch robes fluttered in the wind as he flew settling back she smiled

"Much nore fun..." she muttered crimson eyes glittering with enjoyment as the dark haired Slytherin dived and pulled up in a wonderful fluid movement

"Severus Snape huh?" she muttered slipping into deep thought she didn't notice the object of her thoughts drawing closer till he spoke 

"What are you doing here you annoying girl." He said pausing "Don't you have class?" he asked she smiled 

"What never seen a person cut class before, the dark words are getting sick of the charms professor asking me to give him that spell, so I'm staying away from him, I hate that spell, it's bad he should learn the meaning of the word 'no'." she said smiling lightly as if it were just a passing conversation of little importance

"What are you talking about?" he asked now hovering before her his legs swung over one end of the broom

"The spell that crystallized that Gryffindor upperclassmen, that was my doing, she insulted Remus, and my eyes, she deserved it, and the pain attached." she said standing and brushing the seat of her robes

"Hey can I ask you something?" he smirked

"You just did but you can ask another question, doesn't mean I'll answer you though." she shook her head

"What an original line... anyway do you have a younger brother? Or an older brother with a childlike mentality?" he looked at her confused

"No I'm an only child, why does it matter to you?" he asked the thought that she had finally gotten his attention crossed her mind

"I said I've seen you before, when we first got here, and asked if you knew me, I mistook you for someone else, I had to forgive that person, their much nicer." she said with a smirk equivalent to his he frowned

"Little witch." He muttered seeming to have forgotten that she were skipping classes

"Get going before I tell the professor why you weren't in class today." she turned

"You wouldn't!" his smile told her quite plainly he wouldn't think twice about snitching on her

"Snitching on a lady, one who came out here just to watch you fly. What is this world coming to?" she said holding up defeated hands and shaking her head, but the words got the effect she wanted and he faltered 

"Why would you say something so stupid? Came out to see me fly..." he said going over her words, almost like he would never hear anyone say such thing to him.

"Idiot girl." she smiled

"Only a little bit, I actually think through what I say, I'm an idiot because I don't think about what I do." He watched as she turned away

"Your name is Anya right?" he asked she paused a little surprised but nodded

"I'll be a phoenix next week, I hope to see you." she said simply before walking off hand waving back at him. It was nice that he had stopped to talk to her and the rest of the day found her smiling broadly

"Hey Anya why are you so happy?" Remus asked as they left their potions class he tapped her shoulder and she shook her head

"Nope it's a secret." she said with a laugh dancing off ahead to the great hall for dinner completely forgetting she had her books with her. Sitting at the table she were still smiling like an idiot

"I'm glad he doesn't hate me. He remembered my name even" she muttered

"Who doesn't hate you?" James asked sitting across from her, she jumped back almost falling from the bench if Remus hadn't caught her 

"Oh you know the potions teacher I thought he hated me but it was just my imagination." she said thinking quickly. James nodded thoughtfully,

"I think he just prefers Slytherins, but they are his house after all." he said evenly she nodded and tucked into her food ending conversation a sudden heavy feeling in her chest made her look up, Professor Swift was watching her again and again looking in to his eyes she felt a pain and then sick to her stomach.


	5. S

_Anya found herself in a strange place candles floated every were filling the area with a warm and soft golden glow it seemed like a very large room with shelves upon shelves of books, walking around and gazing at everything she found she could smell aged parchment and feel the soft leather binding the books _

_"It's so lovely here..." she breathed closing her eyes she listened, the soft and occasional pop of candle wax was the only sound she herd... no she also herd scratching, a quill on parchment. Following the noise Anya turned a corner S was sitting at a desk his back to her, but deep in her heart she knew it was him, scratching away at the parchment _

_"Hello." She said softly almost shyly he started and looked up confused at first but when his gaze fell upon her his eyes lit up _

_"Anya! You're here... I ... I was afraid you wouldn't come, because I changed it..." he said turning away quickly, she smiled and walked over to him, there weren't any other chairs so she carefully perched on the table making sure not to upset what ever he was writing_

_"It's beautiful this is a lovely dream world." she said with a smile he looked up at her and then back down at the parchment holding the quill up it brushed his lips lightly_

_"I wanted to try changing it like you said I like it here now... it's warm... not cold like it used to be." she smiled _

_"I agree it is very warm, I'm glad you still want me I your dreams." she said he looked up at her a little surprised and she flushed looking away_

_"I-I mean I haven't been in another persons dream in a long time... you must need some sort of help in the waking world for me to jump into your dreams... but I like talking with you... you seem to think I'm real... not just a dream replica." she said her voice shaking a little, it was true, all the other times she had jumped dreams they had listened to her advice but then never talked to her again as soon as the problem was fixed, after all it's only a dream and she wasn't real... but she was, they just didn't know this._

_"A dream replica? Is that what you are?" he asked she shook her head _

_"No I'm a witch I told you that before, but... you believed me... that's nice, it makes me feel warm." She said a light smile on her face she looked up hearing a soft chuckle_

_"What's so funny?" she demanded he smiled _

_"You, you're so cute the way you talk like that, of course you can't be a dream replica, you look nothing like anyone I know in the real world, much too innocent, and much sweeter then everyone I know." He said softly a form of maturity shining through and she looked down_

_"That's not fair... don't say things like that... I'm not sweet or innocent, I'm just a-" he placed a finger on her lips, she blinked with surprise, no one had ever done such a thing before, this oddly intimate touch she wouldn't admit it to anyone, but coming from S, she liked it._

_"You are sweet and innocent, you've been nothing but kind to me, you showed me the light and helped me break from that dark world, for that I thank you." He moved his finger but before she could protest his words his lips were on hers, her eyes went wide, he was actually kissing her!_

_His lips were soft as silk and he held her face carefully her eyes closed as shock gave way to something else something nice yet unfamiliar. She didn't move only let his lips touch hers, and after a moment he pulled away a light flush on his face _

_"Forgive me that was rash and stupid..." he said she looked down _

_"I-I didn't mind... it was just surprising is all..." she said softly something loud filled her ears he didn't hear it_

_"I must go... it must be late... um... good bye for now." she said pushing from the desk and doing a running leap her mind was spinning unaware that he was watching her leave with fascination_

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"Anya get up!" Her eyes fluttered open and she yawned glancing around

"Where am I?" she asked stupidly

"Gryffindor common room." she glanced at the speaker it was Remus he looked mildly amused, she was sprawled out on and arm chair next to the fire

"You snore did you know that?" he asked she stood with a groan

"Only in certain positions..." she muttered stretching back and cracking her spine with a gasp of relief she fell back into the chair

"Want to tell me why you woke me from my dreams?" she asked Remus seemed taken a back by her perceived anger at being woken, in reality though she was glad to have had an excuse to get away, her face flamed as she remembered the kiss how lightly S had guided her.

"Anya? Hey what's wrong you're... blushing?" Remus said she shook her head quickly, no way in hell was she going to tell him she just experienced her first kiss with a boy during her dream seeing.

"It's nothing just a dream, that's all..." she said softly and stood again and smiled at him

"Why did you wake me up anyway?" she asked raising an eye brow Remus smirked

"Masked ball, you wanted to go, two hours till it starts, remember?" he said evenly she nodded laughing lightly

"Oh yah, I remember now." she said and turned away heading for the girls dorm and turning to look at Remus who was a little flushed him self

"Hey now you're the one who's blushing, what's wrong with you?" he looked down and pointed at her back, glancing down she let out a shrike and was glad only the two of them were in the common room, when she had flopped on to the couch the second time her school robed had gotten all bunched up and her underwear had been slightly exposed

"OH MY GOD! I'M SORRY!" She yelled fixing her robes quickly and dashing up the stairs she ran in to the dorm room and slammed the door. Her face in her hands she frowned

"I can't believe that just happened..." she breathed and stood walking over to her bed, her costume was still in the white packing box her mom had sent it in taking to top of and moving the white tissue paper she smiled seeing the dress.

It was an amazing number that her mother had made to celebrate her first party; her mother loved making cloths and was always looking for an excuse to make her an outfit.

"You have out done yourself this time mother..." she said softly, the bodice and slightly flared skirt were made of a red silk, the bodice was covered in swirling patterns made by thousand of small red crystal beads. On the seam that separated the bodice and skirt also had a red netting attached that trailed at the back it glittered lightly and she knew that her mother had probably charmed it to glitter beautifully in better light. On the back right were the small of her back would be, was a set of small red feathered wings, a few of the feathers had been charmed to look like phoenix feathers. The mask was covered in red feathers that curled a little around her face looking like sweeping wings. The shoes were simple red satin slippers with the same red crystal beads making swirl like designs on the top half of her dress.

It took the whole two hours to bathe, do her hair and make up, and put on the dress with out wreaking it. By the time she was done she felt like a princess. Her father had given in to her mothers begging and had let her send Anya a few precious family heirlooms to go with her dress. A wide gold necklace the covered her neck to the collar of the dress with golden chains this had tear drop like rubies on it and a set of gold arm band with rubies set in them. her hair was up in a feathery pony tail, a healthy amount of red and gold glitter gave it the most amazing sparkle.

The make up wasn't too much, a glittery red and gold lip gloss, "For kissable lips!" her mother had written in the rather long letter she had gotten with her costume. A ruby red eye shadow and gold eye liner for her eyes, and a soft pink blush, barley noticeable at all, but it gave her face a healthy glow.

By the time she was done everyone was either gone or heading out, walking down the stairs from the girls dorm she was suddenly very interested in her feet (AKA Being shy.) All four Marauders were waiting for her, Remus had insisted on them walking her to the party but hadn't elaborated as to why.

"Jeeze Anya... how old are you again?" Sirius joked James and Peter were nodding when she looked up

"It's not bad? My mom made it and I think it's nice... it's not to much?" She asked Remus who had been struck dumb for the moment shook his head

"No, i-it's fine." He managed after a moment Sirius gave James and nudge and tipped his head in the werewolf's direction and winked, they both laughed. Shockingly (Oh the sarcasm in that word) the boys were all dressed up to look like there animal forms, all of them looked handsome, she would definitely admit to that. Remus walked up to her a light blush on his face he held out his hand

"S-shall we get going?" he asked she laughed and nodded

"Yes of course let's go." She said brightly and all five of them walked out

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Just on the stairs to the great hall they were stopped by several girls

"Hey we need to talk to Anya for a second." one of them said, they all looked to be in her grade but there were four second years as well. Remus frowned but had little time to object as the second years walked over, one for each boy, grabbed their arms and started dragging them of to the great hall Anya seemed a bit surprised but smiled

"Don't worry you guys, Maybe they just missed an assignment or need a girl to talk to or something." She said waving a hand

"I'll join you ASAP ok?" She said and turned to the girl one of them frowned

"Sorry Anya but she's seventh year." The girl said next thing Anya knew she had her wand pointed at her

"What are you doing?" Anya demanded, she muttered a curse and Anya moved quickly to dodge, to maneuvering was difficult in the dress

"Stop it, why are you attacking me?" She demanded one hand slipping down the front of her dress the girl faltered seeing her do this, good for her, puling out her wand Anya through up a shield spell just as the girl recovered from her shock.

"Jeeze if you want something done do it your self, you useless first years." She whipped around just in time to see Almati raise her wand, then everything went black.

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Why was I so annoyed? Because the whole reason I had bothered coming in the first place wasn't here... no... that wasn't true, she wasn't the reason I was here in this ridiculous costume, it was just coincidence that she had mentioned it before I had decided to attend... right? Of course!

Again I found my self looking around, just a glimpse that's all I wanted, those strange crimson eyes of hers. She was such a strange girl, she had spoken up in my defense on numerous occasions, she was always smiling or laughing, yet she had an air of maturity most seventh years didn't even have.

My eyes fell on the Marauders; the annoying group of Gryffindor's who stuck to her like flies on a centaur's ass. She wasn't with them it was a good half hour into this stupid ball and she hadn't shown up yet, though when my glance fell on the smart one, Lupin I think his name is, he looked worried The girls who had dragged the into the great hall when the party had first started had left a while ago vanishing from the great hall in seconds.

I don't know what possessed me to go over to them but with a few well placed strides I was close to their group My costume wasn't unlike several others, I guess I was never very original, I just wanted something simple. My presence went unnoticed and I listened as Lupin began to speak

"You guy's I'm honestly beginning to worry she told us she would be right down after she talked to those girls." The boy said the dark haired boy, Black chuckled

"Remus your panicking for nothing Girls can talk for hours on end about nothing."

"I agree Remus, you acting like a love sick cub" Potter added

"I am not! But Guy's Any couldn't do that, she's never hold a conversation for more then a couple minuets, and people haven't exactly been the nicest to her, havent you noticed we're the only ones she talks to." Lupin was wrong; I thought with slight pride, she talks to me as well. His words however did start me thinking why hadn't she come in with them she definitely wasn't the type who would stop and talk with some random girls.

"Lupin! You guy's!" a female voice, but it wasn't her voice and she would never call that boy Lupin, she would have used his first name, I knew that well.

"Aiogi? What is it I thought you and your friends had something you needed to do?" Pettigrew said sounding surprised

"I'm so sorry! I didn't think she was going to get hurt!" the girl said quickly This got my attention

"What are your talking about? Lupin asked The girl was sobbing quietly but I could hear it.

"Anya! Almati has her... I mean we thought Almati just wanted to scare her, but she's gone nuts, their in the astronomy tower it was unlocked. You guys have to help." She sobbed by then I had turned. The other boys were to busy listening to notice me as I ran past them.

Why do I care, Why do I want to make sure she doesn't get hurt, why do I have this sudden wish to impale this Almati girl and throw her out of the astronomy tower window?


End file.
